Addiction Intervention with an Adult

Family doing an intervention

Dealing with a loved one's addiction can be one of the most challenging experiences a family can face. For parents of adult children struggling with substance abuse, the pain can feel overwhelming. An intervention can be a crucial step in helping your adult child seek the help they desperately need. Read on to explore what an intervention is, what to hope for, how to form an intervention team, approaches to intervention, and essential do's and don'ts.

What is Intervention?

An intervention is a structured conversation where friends and/or family confront an individual about their addictive behaviors. The goal is to encourage the person to seek professional help. Unlike casual discussions about addiction, interventions are planned and often involve a facilitator, such as a therapist or an addiction specialist.

The process aims to address the addiction in a way that is both supportive and firm. It highlights the negative impact of the addiction on the individual and their loved ones, while also offering a path towards recovery.

What to Hope for in an Intervention

When planning an intervention, it’s essential to have realistic expectations. Go in with the understanding that you can’t control the outcome. Look at it as an opportunity to clarify your feelings and concerns and to set any boundaries that will help you to not be complicit in or enable the addict’s continued using.

Here are some outcomes to hope for:

1. Recognition of the Problem: The primary goal of an intervention is to help your child recognize their addiction and its consequences.

2. Acceptance of Help: Ideally, the intervention will motivate your child to agree to seek treatment, whether that’s inpatient rehab, outpatient therapy, or another form of support.

3. Emotional Breakdown: While this might sound pessimistic, a strong emotional response can indicate that your child is beginning to understand the seriousness of their situation.

4. Improved Family Dynamics: An intervention can also help family members address their feelings of hurt and frustration, potentially leading to stronger relationships moving forward.

The Intervention Team

Creating an intervention team is a critical step in the process. Your team should consist of individuals who are supportive yet firm. Here’s how to assemble the right group:

1. Select Key Members: Choose family members and friends who are genuinely concerned about your child. Ensure they are willing to confront the issues directly and compassionately. Avoid members who take a moralistic or judgmental stance toward the addict.

2. Include a Professional: Having an addiction specialist or interventionist can provide structure and guidance. They can also help mediate the conversation and provide valuable insights.

3. Prepare Everyone: Prior to the intervention, hold a meeting with your team to discuss the plan, share personal stories, and rehearse what each person will say. This preparation can help create a unified front.

Professional Help for Intervention

Engaging a professional interventionist or addiction counselor can significantly enhance the effectiveness of an intervention. Here are some reasons to consider professional help:

1. Expertise: Professionals have experience in handling confrontations related to addiction and can guide the process effectively.

2. Objectivity: A neutral third party can mediate discussions, making it easier for everyone to express their feelings without escalating tensions.

3. Preparation: Professionals can help you plan the intervention, including timing, location, and what to say, ensuring that the conversation remains focused on the addiction.

4. Post-Intervention Support: After the intervention, professionals can assist in finding appropriate treatment options and provide ongoing support for both your child and your family.

You can find professional help near you by searching the internet for “Interventionist near me” or “addictions counselor/specialist near me.” Or contact Dave Rosenberg at EMDR Associates.

The Approach to Intervention

The approach taken during the intervention is crucial for its success. Here’s a step-by-step guide:

1. Choose the Right Time and Place: Select a neutral setting where your child feels safe. Avoid high-stress environments. Timing is also essential; ensure your child is sober and relatively calm.

2. Start with Love and Concern: When you open the conversation, express your love and concern for your child. Use "I" statements to communicate feelings without sounding accusatory. For example, "I feel scared when I see you using drugs."

3. Present Evidence: Use specific examples of your child’s behavior to illustrate how addiction has affected them and others. This could include missed family events, financial issues, or health complications.

4. Offer Solutions: Clearly outline the help you are offering. This could be a specific rehab program, therapy, or support groups.

5. Set Boundaries: If your child refuses help, explain the consequences. This could include limiting financial support or changes in living arrangements. Be firm but loving. You are not setting boundaries to punish the addict of force the addict into submission. Boundaries are about not participating in or enabling your adult child’s addictive behavior.

Planning an Intervention

Successful interventions require careful planning. Here’s how to prepare:

1. Research Treatment Options: Before the intervention, familiarize yourself with various treatment programs and options available in your area.

2. Practice Your Statements: Rehearse what you and other team members will say. This preparation can help everyone stay on message and reduce anxiety.

3. Create a Timeline: Outline a timeline for the intervention, including how long it will last and what topics will be discussed.

4. Anticipate Reactions: Prepare for various possible responses from your child, including anger, denial, or tears. Having a plan for these reactions can help you stay calm.

Do's and Don'ts in Intervention

Navigating an intervention can be tricky, so here are some critical do's and don'ts to keep in mind:

Do's

1. Do Prepare Thoroughly: Research addiction and treatment options, rehearse your statements, and ensure everyone on the team is aligned.

2. Do Stay Calm: Emotions can run high, but keeping a calm demeanor is crucial. Your child may react defensively, so remaining composed can help de-escalate tension.

3. Do Emphasize Love: Continuously reinforce that your actions stem from love and concern. This helps your child feel supported rather than attacked.

4. Do Allow for Emotions: Encourage your child to express their feelings during the intervention. This can lead to breakthroughs.

5. Do Have a Follow-Up Plan: If your child agrees to seek help, have all necessary arrangements in place. This shows commitment to their recovery.

Don'ts

1. Don't Blame or Shame: Avoid using language that blames or shames your child. This can lead to defensiveness and shut down communication.

2. Don't Make It a Group Therapy Session: An intervention is not the time for family grievances. Focus solely on the addiction and its impact.

3. Don't Expect Immediate Change: Recovery is a process, and it may take time for your child to accept help or fully commit to treatment.

4. Don't Neglect Your Own Needs: Caring for a loved one with an addiction can be draining. Seek support for yourself, whether through counseling or support groups like Al-Anon.

5. Don't Forget to Follow Up: After the intervention, continue to check in with your child. Show ongoing support, but also maintain the boundaries you’ve set.

What to Say in an Intervention

Effective communication is key to a successful intervention. It is crucial to use "I statments" instead of using accusatory or judgmental language. Here are some phrases and approaches to consider:

1. Express Concern: "I’m here because I love you and I’m worried about your health and well-being."

2. Share Observations: "I've noticed that you've been isolating yourself and missing important family events, and it breaks my heart."

3. Use Personal Stories: "When I see you struggling, it reminds me of when I felt helpless, and I want to prevent that for you."

4. Offer Specific Help: "We have researched treatment options and found a program that we believe could really help you."

5. Set Boundaries: "If you choose not to seek help, I need to be clear that I can no longer support you financially while you’re using."

Conclusion

Intervening with your adult child who is struggling with addiction is never easy, but it can be a pivotal moment in their journey toward recovery. By understanding what an intervention entails, forming the right team, approaching the situation with care, and adhering to essential do's and don'ts, you can increase the likelihood of a successful outcome.

Remember, the goal is to encourage your child to recognize their addiction and seek help. While it may not be an easy path, with love and determination, healing is possible. Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help and support during this challenging time. The future of your relationship and your child's well-being may depend on it. Contact EMDR Associates for help and further information.